I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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