Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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