saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize