She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
