it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
