Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
