I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
