She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
