Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
