didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
