it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
