my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hate all girls vehemently.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize