dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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