as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize