I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
