she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
