U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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