Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
