Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
