My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
