look no pants
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I would fuck him just for his dog
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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