worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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