I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
