it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize