is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize