i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
