NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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