Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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