okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
