Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
