That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
