They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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