"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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