I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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