i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
