SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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