I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
