My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
