just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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