Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
