Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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