haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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