I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize