So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
