i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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