I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I will be naked everywhere
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
