dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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