i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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