oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
