so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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