Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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