a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
