this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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